Only my sister
by The boy who cried Godzilla
Summary: Dianna is having a baby. this is bad. this is veeery bad. she's got to tell someone, but who? her sister. only her sister... and maybe her mother... and she's gotta tell Clark at some point...
1. Only my Sister

"No. No! No no no no no no no!" Dianna moaned. "why me!" as she Clenched her fist the small white stick in had was crushed to dust.

She cast a glance at the bedside table and saw the note that her boyfriend had left for her that morning.

_Dianna,_

_Got called into work early. didn't want to wake you. Coffee in the pot. Love you!_

_ -Clark_

to the right of his name was a smiley face with glasses and it's tongue sticking out. It made her smile. Until she remembered the obscenely powerful and potentially dangerous force growing inside of her. She picked her phone. She had to tell someone. Kara? No too likely to spill to Clark. She wanted to tel him herself. As she scrolled to the less used contacts she saw the perfect person. She proceeded to press dial.

"Hey, Donna? It's Dianna. Want to get together at that new cafe downtown? Really! Great, see you there."

later...

the woman scanning the menu looked up to see her sister approaching.

"Dianna!" she smiled. "how long has it been?" she embraced her older sister.

A few minutes later...

"I wonder what they're doing at home." said Donna thoughtfully.

"that's actually what I want to talk about."

"all right. what about home?"

"It's that saying that the crazier Amazons used in court after kidnapping us, what was it? Something about wanting a baby?"

"Oh! I know what you're talking about! Um um. Always! No, permanently! No,no,no... Eternally! Eternally... Empty! Eternally Empty Womb! I feel like I'm on Wheel of Fortune.

"that's it sis!"

"so what about the 'eternally empty womb' Dianna?"

"you see, there's a problem. Mine's not exactly as _empty _as it could be..."

Donna's eyes widened ans she suddenly felt very guilty for listening to the Bloodhound Gang's Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo as her sister broke the news.

"this is bad. Like, reealy bad."

"I know." said Dianna discouraged.

"What are you going to do about it?" asked Donna worriedly.

"I don't know. I had to tell someone, and that was you. Now, I've got nothing."

"you can't work. At the IADC or with the costume..."

"yeah, it'll have to be shelved for now."

"you should tell- who's the father?"

"Clark."

"really. We can't have it born here then."

"yeah... but not at the watchtower either..."

"why?"

"they'd never let me hear the end of it that's why."

"Themyscyla?" asked Donna.

"Are you insane!?"

"It's the safest place for a flying, lazer shooting, ten-thousand tons of steel lifting, Amazon-Kryptonian baby to be born."

"you're right." replied a discouraged Dianna

"Dianna, I'm back!" said Clark as he entered the apartment. "Dianna?"


	2. Titans in the Tower

He walked to their bedroom to find another note on the back of the one that he'd left earlier that day:

_Clark,_

_Had to go to Themyscyla. Will be back soon-ish. xoxo_

_-Dianna_

Clark was confused. Maybe Donna knew something he didn't.

When he arrived at Titan's Tower, and knocked on the door, Beast Boy answered.

"Hi, there Gar, is Donna in?"

"I don't know who you are, where you came from, or how you know my name, but she isn't here. Now go away."

Clark took off his Glasses and opened his shirt.

"Oh. Sorry Mr. Superman, sir, uh, come right in."

they walked toward the top floor, and turned toward Donna's room. But all they saw was a note on the door.

_Titans,_

_went home. Don't come looking. Be back eventually. _

_Love-_

_Donna._

At that moment the door knob began to turn. And then it stopped. Clark whipped around toward Garfield Logan.

"I thought you said she was gone!" he whispered.

"That's what the note said!"

and the knob turned and opened.

"Don-na..." Clark said discouraged, as from the room stepped Korriand'arr, Princess of Tamaran.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, startled. "I was unaware of any beings seeking entrance to our-my, room."

"Where has Donna gone?"

"I believe she returned to her home. Now if you will excuse me, I will be off to the mall!" she said with no hint of sarcasm. "Goodbye Garfield, and neatly dressed bespectacled man!" and she skipped off down the hall.

When she was out of sight, Garfield whispered to Clark:

"she didn't lock it."

"Garfield, stay outside."

"but-"

by then, Clark had entered the room, and left Beast Boy outside.

"stupid adults, they get to have all the fun..." he muttered.

Clark was using all forms of vision to search the girl's room for clues. And then he saw it, a pen on a writing desk that had fresh fingerprints on it. _Donna's _fingerprints. And a notebook with a page torn out. She had written something here.

And so, using many science-y methods, Clark came to decide that Donna had written a note, in addition to the one on the door, which she had placed near Korriand'ar's head. And Now, to find Dianna, he would have to find Donna, by finding Korriand'ar. Of course he knew where she was, but now he had to find out why.

That morning...

Kori's snores popped and fizzled and she woke up. She mumbled a bit, and sat up. In the process she heard paper crinkle. She picked it up and turned on her bedside lamp.

_Kori,_

_I'll be back as soon as things get sorted out. I'll tell you why I'm gone when it's okay to. Stay calm, and don't look for me, because I'll be back._

_-your BFF,_

_Donna!_

Now...

"Oh! Hello again neatly dressed, bespectacled man! Fancy meeting you here!"

"I need to find Donna, where has she gone?"

"I do not know exactly where, but she has returned to her home."

"so, I can't find her, because she's on Themysclya, and I'm a man."

"yes!" she replied with her usual cheer.

Clark was feeling hopeless. He let his head fall to his hands, he sighed. Got up and started toward Metropolis.


	3. The Big Girl Panties

Ch3-The big girl panties.

"So, I'm going to need to stay here for a while mother."

"Understood, and you Donna?" replied Hyppolita.

"I just came to be moral support."

Later, in Dianna's chamber, Dianna and Donna are sitting on the couch talking.

"The league won't be able to function without a 'Wonder Woman' figure, Bruce would keep them all in check at first, but they would eventually stop listening to him." Dianna said, "Do you think you could take over?"

Donna nearly did a spit take.

"What!? You want _me_ to join the league!"

"Only for a bit."

"Do you really think I can handle that?"

"You're a founding Titan, and well older than any of the other members of the league."

"I really don't think I have it in me" Donna replied discouraged.

"Sure you do, all you have to do is armor up and put on your big girl panties and you'll be fine!"

"I'll, I'll go tell the Titans!" grinned Donna.

"we'll need a few days to think up a tale, and I'll have to take a few weeks to read up on Kryptonian anatomy, and file for vacation time, and such things."

"what shall I tell our sisters?" asked Hyppolita.

Dianna tipped back in her chair and put on a ponderous face.

"Terrible mortal disease?" chimed-in Donna.

"That's good." said Hyppolita in response, "Dianna, it's your tale, what do you think?"

"Sounds as good as any."

"Then it's settled" smiled Hyppolita.

Later...

"Sisters!" shouted Hyppolita, "I bring you most regrettable news, Princess Dianna has fallen ill!" a murmur of concern fluttered throughout gathered crowd. "Ill with a terrible mortal disease!" She will be rid of it in about a year's time, but until then she may grow astronomically sized welts, she may be hungry for strange mortal foods, she may be hungry for normal foods, she may be quite whiny, and screamy, but this will just be due to the illness."

A voice came from the crowd. "What is the illness called, my queen?"

"uhh... mortal...itis."

Another concerned whisper from the crowd followed.

"Thank you, sisters! Return to your activities!" and with that Hyppolita turned around and went back into the palace from the balcony that she had been speaking from.

She said to her eldest daughter as she passed: "Dianna, you're suffering from mortalitis."

"thanks." called Dianna.

And so, they remained on the island for a few more weeks in order to make preparations. Meanwhile, Clark was panic stricken, and as such, had gone to Bruce to see what he could make of the situation.

"It sounds like it may be some kind of Amazonian ritual." concluded Bruce.

"Do you think so?" asked Clark worriedly.

"Until I can gather more information, I would say so."

"What kind of ritual do you think it is?"

"I don't know, I'm not Superman."


	4. lychee nuts

**AN: this story takes place in the DCU as I see it, somewhere between the Wonder Woman TV show, Wonder Woman vol. 3, and the New 52.**

At the Watchtower, Dianna was in the Library.

"Will that be all?" asked a drone behind the counter.

"Yes. Thank you." she replied.

"Have a nice day, Wonder Woman."

As she walked down the hallway she was approached by Black Canary and Power Girl who were going from the cafeteria to the observation deck.

"Hey there Dianna!" bubbled Power Girl

Dianna hugged her books to her chest.

"Where 'ya headed?" asked Black Canary.

"I was just on my way to my room but- I'm sorry is this sweet potato?" Dianna picked up Black Canary's fork and shoveled them into her mouth. "Thanks Dinah, I-I" and by that time Dianna had reached her room, so she backed in and pressed the control to slide it shut.

That left Power Girl and the now sweet potato-less Black Canary standing in the corridor wondering what had just gone on.

And Dianna began to bang her head on the wall. "stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!"

she was about to start seriously kicking her punching bag's butt, and then she thought of the cells rapidly multiplying inside her. And so, she took a nap instead. After the glorious nap, she began to read her library books; each of which was a transcript of some scientific journals. Everything she could know about Kryptonian biology was in these three volumes. And in those three volumes, she learned some things about her boyfriend that she didn't really want to know. But then she found it; half of a volume entitled "why do I have hair right there? And other questions about maturity and the body"

And with that, Dianna learned all that she needed to know.

Later that week, Bruce and Clark were eating in the watchtower cafeteria.

"Have you pieced anything together about Dianna lately Bruce? She's been acting really strange as of late."

"How?" asked Bruce.

"I don't know how to describe it. She seems extra sleepy and hungry."

"Any rashes or swelling?"

"Not that I know of."

"I need more. Go see what you can find."

"Why can't you?"

"This isn't my thing Clark. I have a life outside of you. I'm just using my superior human-brain to compile the clues you give me into information you can use."

"Come on, Bruce."

"No."

"Why?" asked Clark desperately

"_Because I'm Batman, That's why!_"

Clark walked away. Bruce wasn't an idiot. He knew what was going on. He always knew what was going on: everywhere. But he chose to let his friend figure it out for himself. If Dianna hadn't told Clark yet, Bruce felt that it was not his place to inform him.

That evening, Clark has invited Dianna to dinner to celebrate her return from her month-and-a-half vacation.

"So… Dianna. How've you been?" asked Clark awkwardly over the table.

They had gone out for dinner in one of Metropolis' finest eateries.

"Fine… and you?"

"Good. I've been good. How was your vacation?"

"Fine. It was nice to see mother again."

"Good. That's good."

Their dinner banter was awkward and forced, as both of them were preoccupied with other thoughts.

They had just entered their apartment when Dianna had a strange query.

"Clark do we have any lychee nuts?"

"What"

"lychee nuts, I want to know if we have any." There was an edge in Dianna's voice.

"No, sweetie we don't." Clark was scared and a bit confused.

"You should go get lychee nuts. Now."

"Dianna, we just ate…"

"You don't understand, I _need_ lychee nuts."

And with that Clark was off.

Batman was in the cave, enjoying a P.M. coffee when the intruder alarms went off, and were offline within seconds. Naturally he went to investigate.

"Clark!" raged Batman. "Alarms off!"

"Bruce! I need lychee nuts!"

"Dianna put you up to this?"

"Bruce, please!"

"China."

And once again, Clark was off.

It was not often that Batman entertained in the cave, but this evening, Batman had a very special guest in his sanctuary.

"What was that all about?" inquired J'onn Jo'nzz

"Don't play dumb J'onn, Dianna's having a baby. You know it and I know it."

"Yes. I suppose You would have known as well. Does Clark know?"

"No."

"Should he know?"

"I don't care."

"Yes then?" replied J'onn, who had seen through Bruce's small ruse, but just needed that smidgeon of confirmation.

"Yes."


	5. This chapter was rushed and is short

**AN: It has been pointed out to me by a reader that Clark should have known already. I say that he/she is exactly right, however in this little universe, basically every character has been dumbed down to make it more comical. Sorry! P.S.- there will always be another chapter, but when it comes is never certain.**

Dianna sat nervously in the kitchen of her Metropolis apartment. It was early in the morning, and the sun had not yet risen. Normally she would not have been up before 7:00, but her child had demanded she rise early for a vomit session. Clark had not heard it, as he slept like a proverbial baby. Today would be the day she told him.

A few hours later Clark awoke and wandered into the living room.

"You're up early." He stated, opening a cupboard.

"Couldn't sleep." Was what she said, but inside she thought "Not now. The time is not right."

"Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks."

"Something's bothering you. I can tell.", Said Clark as he sat next to her on their faded red couch.

"Sh*t. Now I have to tell him.", Thought Dianna.

"Well, Clark…" She turned off the TV. "Well, Clark, I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"Clark, we are going to have a baby."

Dianna could not believe that the knot in her stomach that she had believed was because of the baby suddenly went away.

Clark hit the cushions, let out a sigh, and fainted.

"Clark! Clark? Clark!" shouted Dianna distantly.

A wave of cool water enveloped Clark.

"Clark!" Dianna was much closer now. In fact he could see her. Right in front of his face, Holding an empty cup.

"Really?" Clark sought the final clarification.

Dianna smiled and replied, "Yes!"

Clark fainted again. When he came to he saw that it was 9:00.

Clark swore in Kryptonese. He was late for work. A "bullet speed plus" dash across a few blocks and he was at the Daily planet. Just as he was entering, Jimmy Olsen walked out.

"Clark? Where have you been? Mr. White's _pissed_!"

"How bad is it?" asked Clark.

"It's worse than when he stopped smoking."

"Wow." Clark put his palm to his scalp in exasperation.

"I'd start running if I were you." Joked Jimmy.

As soon as Clark came in the door, a heavily Bronx accented voice on the loudspeaker, "Clark Kent to Editor's office. Mr. Kent to the editor's office."

"It can't be worse than usual." Clark assured himself.

He was wrong.

"Two hours late Kent? Two hours? What's gotten into you? I've got half a mind not to fire you right now!" fumed Perry White.

"I'm sorry Mr. White, I-I slept through my alarm, and couldn't get out the door until" Clark was cut off.

"Consider this your final warning, Kent!"

"That's very – Thank you Mr. White." Clark left the office with his head bowed. When he reached his desk, he found a familiar face waiting for him.

"He sounded happy" grinned Lois Lane.

"Hey Lois", said Clark.

"The ever-punctual Clark Kent shows up late! Its headline material!" she teased.

"Yeah, it'd be our first non-Superman related topic in weeks."

"So what happened?"

At that moment Clark noticed Mr. White Glaring at him through the glass that enclosed his office.

"I've got to get to work Lois, we'll talk after work."

Meanwhile…

"Hey there Dianna how goes it?" inquired Steve Trevor at the water cooler.

"fine, you?"

"Just dandy."

She was about to walk away when she turned back.

"Steve, could we meet in your office for a second?"

"Sure Dianna" replied Steve, finishing his water.

In the office the two were seated across Steve's oak desk.

"I'd like to apply for some time off."

"Sure Dianna, you work hard, you've earned a break. How many days?" said Steve reaching for the proper forms.

Dianna felt her cheeks redden in anticipation.

"I will need _Maternity _leave."

Dianna broke her gaze from Steve's eyes. For a moment he just sat stunned.

"Congratulations Dianna, forgive me, but I _really_ wasn't expecting that."

"Neither was I" laughed Dianna.

"How far along are you?" Smiled Steve remembering the months before his firstborn had come into the world.

"three or four months."

"So when do you want to leave?" smiled Steve.

"I really have no clue about these things but, maybe in two months?"

"I would say one." advised Steve.

"Thanks Steve." replied Dianna with a mildly embarrassed grin.

As she got up to leave, Steve said "Oh, and Dianna, tell you husband I said Congratulations!"

Steve obviously gave it no thought, as he returned to his work immediately afterword, but to Dianna It reminded her of how wrong her current situation was for the _real_ Dianna. She was lying to her sisters, and she was carrying a child, a capitol offence on Themyscyra. This was going to be one heck of a ride.


	6. In The Big League

It had only been a few days since Steve Trevor had signed for Dianna's maternity leave, but she was already preparing for the real trip back to her home. Donna and Clark were there helping. Dianna was just about to take down a suitcase when something occurred to her.

"On second thought Clark, I don't know if I'll need anything."

Clark turned his torso toward her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that they'll have everything there, fresh clothes, food, and water, pretty much everything."

"Is that really all you think you'll need?"

"Probably.", shrugged Dianna.

"I'll put some allergy meds in this purse just in case.", said Clark.

"It's not a purse, it's a satchel!"

At that time, they heard Donna's voice from another room.

"Yeeeah, I think I'll need to make a new costume.", said Donna sounding unsure.

"Why? Doesn't it fit?" asked Dianna, sticking her head out of the doorway.

Donna then stepped out of the half-bath, and Dianna saw what she was talking about. Her sister was a good three inches shorter then she was, and weighed a bit less (even pre-baby), and the suit was hanging loosely from her body.

"Paraphrasing Harry Potter, It fits me like a baggy elephant's skin." Laughed Donna

"I wouldn't go that far, but it does look kind of silly."

"And there's no pants.", added Donna matter-of-factly.

"Send a picture when the new one's done okay?" replied Dianna, brushing off the pants comment.

Clark then walked out of the bedroom with an overnight bag full of supplies for Dianna's trip when he saw Donna.

"Oh! So you're going to wear _that_ to fight with. Okay." He said, secretly thinking it did not fit at all.

Dianna turned to face him, putting on her _"really Clark?"_ face. "No Clark, she's going to make her own."

"Oh. That's good, because that would catch on things so much it would be a scrap of red fabric by the time you get back." Clark chuckled at this image.

Clark turned serious. "On that subject, your leaving I mean, are you sure there's no way I can go with you to Themiscira?"

"Well you could, but you wouldn't be allowed to, like, go anywhere.", said Donna.

"Yeah, you wouldn't be allowed anywhere near me. Those guards are really mistrusting.", added Dianna, "Not to mention the rest of the world would fall apart without you there."

"I guess…" replied Clark uneasily.

Dianna gestured to the bag. "What's in there?"

"Just some essentials"

"That thing is bulging on all sides; I don't think I need that much stuff."

Clark opened it to reveal everything one might need for a month in the wilderness.

"Clark, it's a civilized place, there are buildings and streets. I don't need a tent." She said, requiring super-strength to wedge it free.

"I'll just let you pack then, I'm just really worried about you. And the kid for that matter."

"I know that Clark, but I can handle this." Diana scooped Clark up in her arms and tossed him onto the couch. "You need to relax!"

"Yeah… I guess." Clark then allowed Diana to do what she felt necessary without his help.

When Diana had finished packing (a month in advance) she and Clark headed to the Watchtower to make the proper arrangements and to give Donna a tour.

In the paperwork room, they got the proper forms from the office and Diana left to fill them out. Superman showed the new Wonder Woman around and introduced her to some of the Leaguers, all the while being watched from the shadows.

"What are you doing?" asked Wally West to Batman, who was crouched behind a decorative plant.

"Go away Wally."

"What's with the plant?" inquired Wally.

"I'm Hiding."

"from who?"

"No one in particular." Bruce was getting annoyed.

At that point Bruce got up, and to Wally's surprise, the plant got up with him. It was strapped to his body.

"You are one weird guy, Batman."

Wally then began to vibrate his body and follow Batman, taking little time to notice that it was Superman they were tailing. Wally was able to follow him like this for a short time until Superman began to turn around. At that point Batman punched Wally in the lower thigh, drawing the attention of Arthur Curry and Hal Jordan.

"Is everything okay over here?" asked Hal.

Arthur, who had seen everything believed that Wally had run into batman. "Watch where you're going next time, West! You know the rule about powers!"

"I'm confused, what happened?" Hal was totally in the dark, as he had only seen Bruce by a bush and Wally on the ground.

"If you _must_ know, I'm tailing Wonder Woman's replacement to see if she's league material!" said Bruce through gritted teeth.

Something along the lines of "Why is she being replaced" was queried by the three accumulated followers.

"Not permanently, just for a short time.", replied Batman, casting a glance over his shoulder to see that Clark and Donna were still in range.

"But why?" asked Wally.

"I'm not at liberty to disclose that information at this time", said Bruce lifting his plant to advance down the corridor.

Wally and Arthur restrained Bruce's arms, while Hal asked again.

Bruce's first thought was to defeat them by smashing Arthur and Wally against the wall as his legs got an uppercut chin shot on Hal, but he thought it best not to as he was already on strike two for violence, and would be kicked out of the league if he had one more outburst.

"She is leaving because she's having a baby." Replied Bruce calmly, yet through his teeth.

"What?" said Barry Allen who had been there for a few minutes.

"How did You?!" gasped Bruce as he nearly executed his escape plan out of shock.

"Get here?" You guys are kind of conspicuous, I just followed you."

By this time, Diana had finished her paperwork and had called an impromptu board meeting of founding members.

"I guess that's our ticket out of… whatever _this _is." Said Barry, as He, Bruce, Arthur, and Hal left Wally with Batman's decorative plant.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" he called, but the other four heroes ignored him.


	7. The chapter where Diana thinks a lot

**A/N:Sorry about the lack of updates… I have a beginning and an end, but the middle is taking longer to think up.**

It had been about a month since Diana had left for her stay on the island and Clark was preparing for his new life. He had read all the books and magazines and yet still felt overwhelmingly unprepared.

He sighed and turned off the morning news to go and get ready for work. When he arrived at the planet he was met by his friend Lois who was arriving at about the same time.

"G'mornin' dad-pants." She said.

"Hey." He replied, "Anything going on today?"

He held open the elevator door for her.

"More of the usual I'd imagine.

When they got off the elevator they were bathed in darkness.

"What's up with the lights?" asked Clark.

At that moment the lights came on and the entire news floor jumped up from behind their desks and shouted "_Surprise!_"

Lois then took Clark to Mr. White's office where, on his desk, a cake was waiting for him

"Wh-What's the occasion?" stuttered Clark

"You tweeted it Clark." Replied Lois, with audible "really, Clark" in her voice.

"Oh…right…"

"Congratulations, Smallville."

"Thanks guys" replied the blushing father-to –be.

"You thinking of names yet?"

"No, No, Not yet. I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl."

"Ahh. Wanna be surprised eh Kent?" chuckled Mr. White

"Yeah." Clark Lied.

He would have given anything to be with Diana right now, to know anything and everything about his child, but her culture prevented it, and he would do his best to respect that.

Diana sat on her balcony with a hand on her stomach reading a paperback she'd smuggled onto the island. She found that this was what she was doing most as of late. How she wished she could get out for some air…

"What am I even doing here?" she puzzled to herself.

_I've put my family in danger, betrayed my kind…_ The more she thought the more it re-affirmed that it was a bad idea to have the baby here. But it wasn't like she could have it anywhere; it could be the most powerful being ever conceived! No civilian hospital was ready for that. Her next choice would be the watchtower, but they weren't equipped for a birth, and Clark's Ice castle was too damn cold! She supposed it couldn't hurt to reconsider the choice she'd made. The more she thought about it the better it sounded. She would have to talk to her mother the next time she saw her, but her visits were becoming few and far between. Maybe she would come tomorrow and they could talk about it then. Then again, maybe it would be best if she just flew away now…

Diana got up and picked up he old Wonder Woman uniform and held it up to her body.

"Sheesh! No way I'll be wearing this any time soon!"

She began to think about her career in the future. Could she keep up being Wonder Woman and still be there for her baby? She was determined to, but something about just didn't seem plausible.

"If anyone can do it, we can." Her thoughts hung onto the word "we" as she remembered Clark. Could he handle all this time by himself? What was he doing while she was gone? Was he okay? She didn't know, and the fact that she didn't made leaving the island seem like a much sweeter sounding prospect than staying.

"I'll tell her next time I see her."

And with that decision Diana returned to her chair to read for the rest of the afternoon.

Hippolyta had been growing more and more conflicted every second since she lied to her sisters about Diana. Now, cloaked and waiting in an open pavilion atop a hill she waited for the high council to meet her.

"Hail, my queen." said a cloaked Amazon from behind her.

Hippolyta turned and saw the five faces she was waiting for.

"Why is it you have summoned us here?"

"Sisters, subjects, I have failed you."


End file.
